Last weekend, I played at a benefit concert for Living Hope for Haiti in Powell. I have never written a song in my life, but love to play other people's music. After my set, the owner of the cafe invited me to their songwriter's workshop, which was encouraging. First thought: intimidation. Why in the world would someone even think that I would belong in a place where people collaborate on music composition?
But, nevertheless, I accepted the invitation in hopes that maybe I can learn something. I've actually wanted to write music for sometime, but have never been brave enough to try.
The next morning, I was at the early service at church, not really wanting to be there (because a more comfortable alternative would have been my bed). My mind began to wander during worship and I started thinking about songwriting. I started to somewhat converse with God, and I really felt Him prompting me to ask for the gift. I was imediately reminded of what someone had shared in a group: we may not get what we ask for, but God cares about our desires and wants us to ask for them. So, I thought.... why not? I gave a somewhat half-hearted prayer saying something like, "Lord, I want to write songs."
Not a minute later, my mind was flowing. It was all I could do to pick up my pen quick enough to sribble down a few basic ideas. One of the ideas that popped into my brain was something that God has painfully been bringing to the surface the past few weeks. I was hesitant to even go there, and my pen paused, and I forced my brain to stop for a second. In that moment, God gave me four lines (promises if you will) concerning His view of me. It was as if He was saying, "What you are about to drag out is going to be painful, so here's some Truth to remind you Who loves you." He's cool like that.
Yes, I cried in church. No, it had nothing to do with the speaker. God is so faithful to bring us to a place that we can use our pain in a healthy way. He can hold us gently, arms wrapped around us, kissing our foreheads while allowing us to feel an uncomfortable pain. God is stirring in me more than a song. He's stirring a healing that I am sure is meant to lead other hurting and broken women to His warm arms.
Yes, I will be posting a finished product.