I am single.
I have come close to getting married, but haven't actually made it down the isle in the white dress.
I have never been a parent.
I have taken care of children, but at the end of the day I always give them back to their parents.
And yet God is asking met to step into becoming a foster parent to teenage girls.
He is asking me to lay down my independence, my "All the Single Ladies" attitude that somehow entitles me to live me life mostly for God, but still protecting this little section that is only for me. And up until now I have been able to do that with no consequence (other than a pile of laundry and boring chores that aren't getting done). Because up until now, it really didn't matter. Up until now, I was responsible for only myself.
This part of it is scary. The season before I actually do anything. It took me a month to fill out and mail the application. But, the time is here. In a week and a half, I will begin training. I will begin the process.
I will step into the world of becoming something that I never would have thought for myself.
A single mom.
And through the fear and all the manymany question marks that float through my head, I hear this confident voice. God is saying to me, "Yes. This is the thing that you need to be pressing into. Keep moving. I will tell you what to do next."
And I read passages that guide me.
truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and
dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many
In order for new life to happen, I must sacrifice. I need to lay down this life that I so pride myself in. This single life. I need to allow God access to all the areas of my life. All of them. Not just the ones that I want Him to see. But, I need to expose the hidden areas too. I need to allow Him to do a work in me so that I may die. So that I may literally lay down the life that I live in order that new life may spring up.
And as this new life springs up, God will guide me on how to love these sweet girls that just need a home, a place to be safe. A place to learn how to be loved. A place to learn how to love back.
All this, I am willing to do because He first did that for me. It was God who first sacrificed His life for me. And after He died, He adopted me. He took me into His fold and has been teaching me what it means to be safe. And what it means to be loved. And what it means to love back.
And now it's my turn to give that to someone else.