Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Communion with My King

As a young Catholic, communion was something that we got to do as a "rite of passage." It wasn't something I fully understood, and for that reason, even as an adult, I have struggled to fully grasp and identify with my Savior as I consume the elements of communion. This past weekend, I was at a retreat with my church and had one of "those moments"... the ones that leave you just needing to sit and process for hours afterward. As I was praying before taking communion, I saw a vivid picture that I'm pretty sure radically changed my life and how I see communion forever.
I was to the heavy cross and pick it up. I am mocked and spit on. I carry the cross on my back in the hot sun. I feel faint and I'm certain I will die if I don't get water. I'm very thirsty and i am starting to feel anxious. I know what is coming. I have sinned and I am going to be killed. They will lay me on the cross and deive sharp, huge nails in my hands and feet. They they will raise up the cross and leave me there until my heart stops beating, until I am dead.

As I approach the hill's incline, I stumble. I fall in the dirt and think that they will help me. But, the crowd starts yelling at me to get up and they call me horrible names. I somehow manage to get to my feet; my legs are wobbly and shaking. I don't have much further to go and my heart starts beating faster. "Isn't there another way? Can I just appologize? Why must I die? Was my sin that great? If God loved me, why would He allow them to kill me?"

I finally get to the top of the hill- almost crawling. When I reach the right spot, some one yells at me to stop, but I don't hear; my ears are ringing and I am barely conscious- I'm just moving mechanically. They take a large whip and strike my legs until I fall and drop the cross. Not is the point of no return. I am going to die soon.

They lay me down on the cross and being driving the nails into my hands and feet. The pain is so great that I lose consciousness. When I wake up, i am in the air, being help up by the cross and the nails. My flesh is being pulled and ripped and I am in so much pain. Suddenly, I see a figure in front of me. I try to focus on him, but I don't have enough strength. I see him push past the guards. "She is MINE," He says. The He lowers the cross on the ground. He slowly pulls each nail from my hands and feet. As he does this, he touches my wounds. I am healed instantly. I am not thirsty anymore. I have strength and do not feel weak anymore.

He take my hand and pulls me up. He embraces me and whispers in my ear, "I do this for you because of my Love." He releases me and lays down in my place- looking into my eyes the whole time. Then he says, "My death will pay for your sin," as they begin driving nails into His hands and feet. He is still looking at me as they raise up the cross. I stand in wonder and astonishment as I watch my Savior come and die for me. He died, that I may have an abundant life. He paid the debt I owed.

No comments:

Post a Comment