Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The One About Emotions

If you have known me for more than 5 minutes, you will probably learn without me saying anything that I am a sensitive person. I have a high level of empathy, sometimes taking on the emotions of others. I also can be affected by situations with more severity than others. And sometimes, embarassingly enough, I lose complete control of said emotions and become that person.
"That Person"

You know that person that I am talking about. That person kind of freaks out about things that maybe they don't need to freak out about. That person deals with their emotions in an unhealthy way. Sometimes drinking or overeating or punching something/someone or breaking a lamp or road raging are involved. That person needs to get a grip. On Jesus. Like, for real.

Don't miss what I'm saying. I am that person. We are all that person at some point in time. But, sometimes I feel like I am that person more often than I am a holy vessel of God.

Sometimes, I feel like I run to ice cream or an ice cold soda before I run to God.

Sometimes, I feel like I may think that I am showing people who God is when really, I am showing them who I am. You know.... that person.
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This weekend, my Grammy fell down. She shattered and dislocated her poor, 84-year-old wrist. It was so sad! While she was in surgery, I had a lot of down time. I took that time to send my friend some encouragement from a study that I did on JOY. It was like this whole intricate word/usage-in-the-Bible/how-does-it-apply-to-me study. I got a lot out of it last year when I was terribly struggling with depression. In fact, I wrote an entire series on depression. You can find it here.

As I was reading what I wrote, so much stuck out to me. Not like a memory, but like a, "I don't remember writing that, but wow, does it resonate with me now" feelings. I realized then that so much of what God has been teaching me this last year has been a build-up. He was teaching me, even when I hadn't let myself belong to Him. He was guiding me, even when He knew I wouldn't obey. He was rallying my heart for one purpose: to know Him in a deeper way.

You're probably all, "Be quiet and tell me the thing that you read!"

Okay! Stop yelling!


Here it is:

Psalm 51:10-12
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from  your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

The Greeks feared emotions because they sought permanent balance. Hebrews take a different track. Emotions are the fodder of choice. I can let them drive me or I can coral them in the service of the King. Once, David allowed his emotions to carry him far from his King. Now, he seeks restoration and emotion is the train he rides to reach his goal.”

This is that part that gets me..."While no emotion is permanent, every emotion can draw us toward [God] or push us away. We are at liberty to choose.” (taken from http://www.skipmoen.com/)
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So, you're telling me that I in the middle of my raw emotions and freak-outs, I still have a choice what I do with those feelings? Yes.

So, if I'm depressed and I want to eat a whole container of ice cream because I feel like I deserve it, then I can stop myself before I even start? Yes.

So, if my husband/boyfriend/dad has just made me feel like crap again and all I want to do is drink, I can like.... not drink? Yes.

People, I have a choice. You have a choice. We all have a choice. And, it is possible to glorify God in the middle of what we are feeling. My friend shared with me that we can be angry/sad/depressed/etc. We are human and we have feelings. But, we (and I'm talking to myself too) need to train ourselves to stop and ask God, "What do You want me to do with this feeling?"

Believe this: He. Will. Tell. You.

He will.

He wants us to come to Him in our hour of need. He wants us to draw near to His heart. He wants us to draw from his strength and energy. He wants to fill us up so that we can handle what He has allowed in our lives.

He wants us.

He wants you.

He wants me.
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What about you? How do you deal with your emotions? Are you that person too?

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