Sunday, December 27, 2009

Being in control of one's self, or giving control to God...?

"The only way we are going to get out of what we are currently in is to see that there is something greater." - Joshua Weir, pastor of The Village Vineyard, Columbus, OH

Today, church was not some "omg, that really hit me hard" thing. However, God was sweet and awesome enough to pull back the veil and show me the work that He is doing, and has given me the "big picture." I have been struggling with alcohol abuse for about a year and a half on and off. I have been struggling with emotional eating as long as I can remember. I have been struggling with lust and impure thoughts for about 5 years. Until recently, I didn't lump these together at all, I simply treated them as separate sin that needed to be dealt with individually. Food, lust, alcohol: all of these things have been hitting me hard in recent months. Assuming it was just one of those times in my life, I have been writing it off as me just not pursuing what God has for me, and areas of my life that need improvement.

I was talking with a guy friend a few months ago about men and their struggle with looking at women lustfully. He said that treating that lustful act alone is not effective, and that it comes from a deeper sin that needs to be examined. I knew that what he said was true, but wasn't sure how his truth applied to my life. Then this morning it all starting ironing out in my head. I am not stopping myself from having just one drink, or none at all. I am not stopping myself from eating food that I really don't need "just because I want to." I am not stopping my mind to wander to places that only a married person should entertain. These are all centering around my lack of self-control.

I can walk away from booze. I can go on a diet. I can stick to G-rated books, movies, and conversations. But, taking these symptoms away will not help me exercise self-control. The only thing that will help my self-control is to understand that God has something better for me than what I am submerging myself into. God has SO much better for me than lust, gluttony, and alcoholism. So much better for me than the life that I could try to create. May I submit to Him, that I might glorify Him.

1 comment:

  1. Amen.
    Thanks for sharing... it gives me something to ponder for the day.