I Have Good Friends

I am so thankful for the friends that God has blessed me with here in OH.

My friend, Allison, came over last night and hung out with my while I packed. Packing, as it turns out, is a lonely thing to do when you're doing it by yourself. I found myself getting sad and feeling a little anxiety. So, I invited Allison over just to talk with me and keep me company while I packed about three or four boxes. It was refreshing. I'm going to miss her.

I was running low on boxes. So, I posted something on facebook asking if anyone had any and got two people volunteering their boxes for me :) What a blessing. The ones I picked up last night were in assorted shapes and sizes, so it will be perfect for all the stuff I have! I am picking up more tonight or tomorrow.

In five days, I will be fleeing the state. Five. It's hard to take in.

A Place to Call Home

A few weeks ago, I drove down to the beautiful Lynchburg, VA. My goal was to find a place to live and to get a job lined up for the move.

One of those was accomplished. This post in my main blog highlights a few things that I was specifically praying for. But, I was open to wherever God would take me.

A college friend gave me his coworker’s information- who happened to be looking for a roommate. As soon as I met her, I felt at ease. We sat and chatted for a little over an hour, and I found that even though I had just met her, I would have been perfectly fine moving in the next day!

A few funny (not comical, but neat) things:

1. She has been going to BRCC for a few years, and is a leader in a small group. That is the same church that I was heavily involved in when I lived in VA.
2. She knows a lot of the same people that I knew when I went to that church.
3. She has a similar heart for people, and digging deep in life.
4. She has a style that is somewhat similar to mine.
5. She too is from a different state- just pursuing what God has for her.

I knew when I left her apt (especially based on the three specific things I prayed for) that this was the apt for me. But I used discernment and decided to continue to pray about it. I wanted to check back in a week. I figured if the room was still available, then I would let her know that I wanted to move in.

I contacted her a few days ago, and the room is still available! I now have a place to live!!

Now, to just find a job…

Hospital Beds are NOT Comfortable...

I left work early today... like 6 hours early.

My wonderful, beautiful, caring, dear-friend Grammy was admitted into the hospital today. She had a virus a few weeks ago, was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism, and has been having issues breathing.

I love my Grammy. We have been close most of my 29 years of existence. I have never been able to imagine what life would be like without her. But, because we have always been close and had a strong relationship, I am thankful that there is nothing that is left unsaid. There are no "I love yous" or "I'm sorrys" that I am putting off until next time. I know that when she does pass away (because it happens to all of us) I have loved her to the best of my abilities.



So, what are we doing now? Watching Dr. Oz and playing SIMS on Facebook.

I'm thankful to be able to spend this time with her before I leave for another state.

On finding a job...

I drove down to Lynchburg, VA last weekend. Where, you say?


Here!

I am moving here in just a few short weeks. If this is the first time reading that, go back to this post.

I have been looking for a job for the past month down in Lynchburg. I do not have one yet. I have felt like God has been telling me from the beginning that He will provide for me at the last minute, and I believe that is still true.

So, I am moving down there whether or not I have a job. I am going. People do it all the time. Will it be scary? Yes. Will people question my decisions? Yes. Will there be moments where I ask myself, "What the heck are you doing?!??" Yes.

But, God is bigger than my questions. He is bigger than my doubts. He is so much bigger than unemployment.

He is my Provider.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

What does that phrase even mean? I know I’ve heard that is what people say when they win money while gambling. I just think is sounds funny.

This past weekend, I drove down to Lynchburg to job and apartment hunt. Something that I prayed about on my way down was confirmation. I know what God has been telling me to do all along, but I just needed a little more peace. I didn’t need a burning bush… maybe just a lit match? Just something that told me, “Yes, you are going where I told you. I will provide for you the entire way.”

I spoke with my best friend on the way down for a little bit. I was having some anxiety about making such a big step, and needed some help processing through some of my thoughts. I knew that I needed to be looking for a job and apartment, but I wasn’t sure which was a bigger priority. I mean, I could focus on finding an apartment and have a safe place to live and just be feverishly looking for a job and feel okay about it. Or, I could focus on finding a job and trust that God will give me a place to live in His time. I just didn’t know what to do.

My best friend moved from Texas up to Ohio with her (now) husband. They didn’t know what they were going to do, or where they were going to live. They only knew that God was calling them to Ohio. The wisdom that she shared with me was that her husband found an apartment before he found a job, and she found a job before she found an apartment. God worked everything out in his time. How this spoke to me was that there is no manual. God is going to provide for me how He chooses, and when He chooses. There is no manual. So, if I find a place to live before I have a job lined up, that is okay. God will take care of me.

Three things I have been praying for in a place to live are:

1. To not have to pay a deposit. I cannot afford to pay double rent right now (especially without a job lined up), so I am looking for a place that does not require a deposit.

2. That I am able to bring my cat, as is. He is not declawed- but I try to keep these little plastic covers on his claws (which are hard to keep up with).

3. For someone that is like-minded. I don’t want to live with an exact replica of myself. But, I want to live with someone that has a similar heart, and can relate to me spiritually. I want to live with someone that chases after God’s heart like I do, and pursues radical living for Him as well.

Not too much to ask, right? :)

I was able to check out a few places to live and a few jobs, so now it is the waiting/praying game.

Going Back to Where We Left Off...

Today, I received an email from the director of Admissions stating that I would not be going any further in the application process for a position as an Admissions Counselor.

After getting over my shock and confusion, I cried. Hard.

I didn't understand how I can hit it off so well with the director and the supervisor, and be told, "I look forward to listening to recordings of you selling Liberty University to students," and then literally the next day be told the complete opposite with no viable explanation: a door that appeared wide open slammed shut in my face.

I was able to process through everything with a few close friends and my mother. What I had to be reminded of was two things:

1. I am not moving for a job. I am moving because God told me to.

2. A job does not provide for me; God does.

Not getting a job at Liberty means that tuition seems impossible now. I wasn't necessarily counting on the job, but they sure had me excited about it and all the possibilities that came with it.

So where does that leave me now? Asking God a lot of questions. I don't believe that getting that far in an interview process meant much more than pushing me to move to Lynchburg sooner. But, I made decisions and changes based on that job.

My best friend encouraged me to revist what God is asking me to do. I didn't clearly hear God tell me that I would work at Liberty (although it would help with tuition). What I did hear Him say was, "Go back to where we left off." At that point in time, I was working at Liberty, living in Lynchburg, and finishing up my Bachelor's degree (and pursuing a MA). It made sense that I would go back to pick those things back up. But, God didn't tell me anything beyond that. He just told me to go to that point.

I feel like in my relationship with God, He will give me instructions such as, "Go to the zoo." Then I say, "Okay, God, I'll meet you at the elephant cage!" The point is, God tells me to do something without much detail sometimes. And because of who I am (ahem... need to control/have a plan), I assume the role of figuring out the details.

But, that is not my job. I am not my own provider. I am not God. Providing for my every need is not my burden to bear, and I will fail myself everytime I try. But God... He is so strong and powerful and He has all the answers and had foreknowledge and insight beyond what I could ever imagine doing.

So, for the next 48 hours, I will be waiting. And listening. And being quietly obedience.

Oh, and packing too. Moving is the only thing I am sure of at this point.

Feeling overwhelmed... yet still peaceful...

So, I bit the bullet. I made an adult decision. My interviews (two, so far) for the Admissions Counselor position have gone really well. But..... if I want to start this year (like in December), then I need to start on December 5th. Like, in two and a half weeks. And a job in another state requires planning. Planning is what I am good at. I can plan a concert, a party, a to-do list, I can even make a planner out of poster board. I can plan.

This was not my plan.

I was planning on moving in January. I was planning on leisurely packing, taking a few trips down to VA to look at apartments, and maybe move a few things into storage. I was not planning on throwing my plans away and doing it God's way....

Wait, what? Oh yeah. I said it.

Because even in the middle of me stepping out in faith and getting back on track with God's will and pursuing what He wants me to do, I lost sight of Him. And, like Peter, I started to sink.

So, now I'm yelling at myself, "Lindsay Ma-freakin-rie!!! Keep your eyes on Jesus! He will not fail you! Stop trying to control everything. Stop trying to plan everything. Just do what God commanded you: dive off the diving board and just trust that there will be water."

Off to pack.