Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Rain: Demotivating and Gloomy

I will do my best not to be to whiny on this post- mostly because I hate how I sound when I whine, but also because I have so many things to be thankful for that it doesn't make any sense to whine too much about the weather.


It's been rainy all day.

I normally wouldn't care. In fact, I normally would be happy to turn my brand-new-for-Christmas electric blanket on high and snuggle in bed with my kitten and a movie on Netflix.


I had a HUGE list of things to do today. Those things included getting food for the week, going to the Post Office and mailing my "between Christmas and New Year" cards, going to the pet store and getting my Phone worked on. I hit every puddle in every parking lot too.... lol.

What did I want to be doing? What I'm doing now. Electric blanket + kitten + bed + Netflix (which will be happening in a minute).

Sitting here decompressing from my day is allowing me to be so thankful for what I have and where I am.

Who am I that I matter enough for God to call me to a completely different state to serve Him?

Who am I that He would think for one second on how to provide for me?

Who am I that He offers even the smallest amount of grace for all the mistakes I've made and people I've let down and sin I've wound up in.

Who am I?

I just confessed to a friend that I miss the structure and business of my old 9-5 life. I miss being forced to get out of bed in the morning (gasp! I know!), and rushing to work, and working hard all day and then coming home exhausted and ready to wind down. I miss that.

But, that is obviously not what God has for me in this season. Rent is paid through the beginning of Feb, so I'm good there. God provided enough money to support me otherwise, so there's just no sense of urgency in my life.

I want urgency.

I want demand and responsibility.

Is that so bad?
Maybe God wants me to be urgent about different things. Maybe He wants me to feel challenged in ways that can't be defined by "living the American Dream."

I feel that God is pressing on my heart to ask Him each day what He wants me to be urgent about.

So, tonight, I am posting a reminder on my bathroom mirror (where else would I put it?? :P) that says, "Ask God what He wants you to be urgent about TODAY."

Stay tuned.

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